Four most common dating mistakes
A total of 17 million people in the UK are single, even though an estimated half of these people want a long-term relationship.
Research from Relate shows that one in 10 people have a great deal of difficulty when it comes to forming romantic connections.
The study also showed that one fifth of people questioned had not felt loved on a day-to-day basis in the two weeks before the survey, and about half of these people were in a relationship.
Relate couples counsellor and author of ‘Couple Therapy: Dramas of Love and Sex’ Barbara Bloomfield has spent most of her life researching and writing about relationships.
She shared the most common dating mistakes she sees in her clients:
1. Thinking that there is ‘the one’
“People come to me and say ‘I’d like to meet the one’.
“You’re unlikely to meet one person who is absolutely perfect for you; you are likely to meet lots of people who are good for you”
2. Not making good conversation
“People who go on dates have got to learn to look interested.
“People who are having a great deal of difficulty with relationships are the ones that fall into the long boring monologues about themselves
“I know this, I went on 27 dates to research it and I met 26 people who did this.”
3. Not feeling confident
“Make sure you’re feeling confident enough to handle dating,
“People go because they’re feeling desperate, and that’s exactly the wrong time to go on dates.
“Wear something comfortable that makes you feel good about yourself.”
4. Not being honest after the first date
“A lot of dates go wrong because people are either too shy or worried about being rejected. They end the date without making any decisions.
“If you like the person, tell them you like them and would like to see them again.
“If you’re not sure if you like them, say something like ‘shall we think about over night’.
“If you don’t like them, find something to say. The best thing is something like ‘I’m not sure that we’ve got enough in common.
“Be clear with them. If they’re a definite no let them down gently but firmly
“Don’t leave it hanging. So many dates and relationships fall down because most people are shy and unsure and they leave it hanging in the air and haven’t got the nerve to get in touch again.”